.....

Ah... the good old days... gone?

Im sure all of you have attended gatherings before... be it for primary school, secondary school or even university. For me... gatherings were always not all that fun or memorable...

That's because i've always felt like a stranger... It's like attending a wierd costume party, where strange people are masquerading under the faces of people i one knew. The moment i walk in, my inner voice simply shouts out : "Who are these people? and what have they done to my friends?". After not seeing each other for ages, even the most chummiest of my old friends do not feel the same as the days before we parted... The bonds and experiences we've shared just do not seem to be there anymore... I really cant understand it... Why cant we go back to the good old days anymore? Does that mean that we havent actually been that close in the first place? Just superficial accompliances? I believe thats what we are most of the time... We depend on others when we need emmotional support or innitiate a conversation so we can pass the time... Come to think of it... Did i actually missed any of those old friends after we parted? The truth is... yes!! ... alot in fact... But thats only because i havent found a new person to replace the void in my life that he/she left behind... After i meet new people with common interests, these "old people" just fades away... pushed to the deepest dungeon at the very bottom of my mind, only to be brought up again when their names are mentioned... Does that make me a "fake" person"? A "user"? or is this how the world is supposed to be?

Or perhaps its because we have all grown up... Developed different interests... We became different people... We werent the same people we were back then... we became more materialistic... superficial... arrogant... contemplating... calculative... tactless... too suspicious of the motives of others, that we cant accept people for what they are anymore... And then we blame others for changing... for deserting us... for wearing masks... for being emotionless... for cheating our feelings......

I want to change !!! i dont want to become a heartless android... i want to learn to care abt others... to share their thoughts... to feel their feelings... to learn to love...... I dont want to classify people under "usefull", "not usefull", "fun" and "not fun" anymore.... I want to call someone a "friend" and truely mean it... and i hope that someone will do the same for me......

Being great is great.... but it is greater to be human......

Starlight...

Did u know that starlight takes millions of years to reach our planet? Well, i find it amazing to know that when we look up into the sky we are actually looking at millions of years back in history...

Suppose one day if we can surpass the light speed barrier, I wonder if we can actually go to the other end of the universe and watch the history of earth and its beginnings. I'd be cool if we can actually see what happened during important events thousands of years ago... I mean we can even see what Jesus was like and the creation of earth as well. Lots of age long mysteries could be solved like the building of the pyramids and the stone heads in Easter Islands......

Speaking of Jesus... i saw a book on Judas's gospel in popular today... I managed to thumb through a few pages and found it quite interesting... I do not know the extend of the truth in that book but it gives u a contrarian view of what happened then... would've bought a copy if the price wasnt so steep... RM50... ouch !!

Lonely stranger......

In the shadowed path i walk alone,

Leaving behind a past long gone,

Not knowing what the future holds,

Shallow footprints, the only tale told.

Silent nights arouse dark fears,

Inspite that fact, I shed no tears.

This is a journey i must take,

How much longer before i break?

Once upon a moonless night,

Not a single star in sight,

Threading on the steady ground,

Lost in thoughts i hear no sound.

Growing voices in my head,

Swarms my mind with dire dread.

My aching heart, a treacherous whore,

Harbouring the sins i once bore.

Draining my blood with each beat,

Filling my soul with great deceit.

Fellow travellers come and go,

Once we part, be heard no more.

Yearning for a comrade to walk with me,

Through whatever perils there may be.

Till that day, I'll walk alone !!

Searching for a place called home....

-Tai 2007

I see dead people....

I think our senses deceive us most of the time...  The world is really not what we perceive it to be...

Take an object for example, say, a tree... What is a tree? A tree is some funny brown and green object which grows out from the soil right? Occasionally it might also bear some pretty flowers which smells good. But suppose... if u ask a blind person... what is a tree? What will he tell u? He'd say a tree is a rough feeling object with funny round smooth things at the end. A person with a stuffy nose wont be able to smell the flowers. Without our senses... the world would seem to cease to exist. U'd be just a consiousness floating around in darkness.

So since our senses arent perfect, our world is mainly made of what we can sense. So could it be that what we perceive are mere illusions? As in, maybe this world does not exist at all and what we see and feel is mainly what our senses want us too see and feel. An object wont be an object if we cant sense it right? Hence... we dont actually know what a tree is. If we had x-ray vision, would we still say that a tree is what it is now?

My theory of evolution...

  I think that the human species will be facing a major screwup... I predict a major splitting of the human gene pool imminent in the next 5000 years.

  This would be due to advancements in medicinal technologies which enables us to preserve a large portion of our population, allowing most of us a chance to propagate.  Thus keeping in various traits, which would otherwise have been weeded out by natural selection.

  Besides that, i have made an observation that scruffy rednecks with lots of chest hair will most likely mate with loudmouth hags with brushy hair, while the more sophisticated, clean-shaven males usually mate with long legged chicks. Hence, i believe that the former portion of the population will devolve back into talking chimps while the latter portion will probably evolve into some wierd bold creatures with long legs. Those in the middle would probably retain most of their human features.

Expected groups to turn into chimps: Bangala workers, football players, chimps, and animal lovers.

Expected groups to turn into wierd long legged creatures: Movie stars, CEOs, lawyers and Singaporeans

Frankenturtle !!

Behold !! My humble creation... Mr. FrankenTurtle !! Took me 7 hrs to create him, inclusive of the 1 hr lunch break. Made him out of some old rags and cotton wool. Think of all the fun we'll have together... I can soak him in water and put him under the scorching sun whenever i want to. Besides, I can get him to worship me at least 5 times a day. If he is good, I'll let him sleep on my bed. But if he is naughty i can always chuck him in the firery depts of the kitchen stove... no one can blame me... after all he IS my creation... Bwahahahaha !!! The best thing is, I wont let him know that i am his creator. I'll disguise myself as a perfect image of Mr. Frankenturtle to communicate with him. Naturally, he cant see me coz the mere sight of me will blind him, after all... he DOES have cute tiny plastic beads for eyes. I'd give him proper eyes made of little pieces of diamonds so he can see me, but as you all know, diamonds ARE expensive... So if he wants to talk to me, the only way is to go through my image... as i probably won't have time for his petty problems.

This is Tok Kura... He will be representing me whenever i need to talk to Mr. Frankenturtle.

Human Beings....

I think humans are the wierdest creatures on Earth. Why? Coz we think we are making life easier for ourselves by building stuff but not reallising that we are actually making our lives more complex and complicating at the same time...

Let me illustrate... We think wearing clothes is a good idea:

1. because it keeps us warm

2. because it looks nice

But the thing is me are making life more complex coz we need to wear clothes in public whether we like it or not... It that sense it doesn't become a luxury anymore... it becomes more of a necessity. Because of the existance of clothings, we spend more and more effort trying to make our clothes look nice and shaving off various parts of our body hair which were naturally meant to keep us warm. And talk about applying funny glues to our hair to make it look like thorns...... another way of warding off predators perhaps? Hence, the simple idea to make our lives better actually led to a much more difficult and energy consuming industry.

Hence, my theory is that we come out with supposedly better inventions because we are naturally bored with our lives. Well this is probably contributed by our ability to think. U see unlike a hamster, who is contented with merely running around a maze in a cage for days end, we can barely sit quitely in a room for 10 mins. So we like to come out with new and refreshing ideas so we can toy around with the world even more. We believe that we are making the world a better place for our young ones, but the thing is we are actually making life much more difficult. If you think farming was hard, think about the workers toiling in factories, exposing themselves to toxic and hazardous fumes everyday. In terms of things like fishing... the hours are actually the same... just that technology enables us to catch more fish... so where is the part about life being easier? We need to catch more fish in order to be competitive and earn more money in order to catch up with inflation....

World peace v^.^

  Well... firstly... in terms of the politics of a country... Who do you think holds the most power over a country? The people? The rulling party? No! the truth is the power lies with the millitary !! E.g. Indonesia, Burma... where the power actually lies with the military and the rulling parties are merely figureheads. Which means that the democracy system only holds as long as the millitary is happy with the government. Hence, where is the part where the people determines the direction the country is heading? Immagine placing the fate of the country in the hands of a bunch of uneducated hoodlums who's only purpose in life is to kill other people. Democracy is but an illusion and the rulling party more or less succumbs to the will of the millitary. But what is the use of the millitary? One might say that it is for defending the country against the onslaughts of other nations. But suppose the world comes to an agreement to disband all millitary units? Then there will be no need for millitary presence anymore. Because no one will have the means to attack other nations and hence there wont be a need for nations to defend themselves.

  Think about it... How much money you could save for the progress of the nation? Well what about riots and social unrest then? U can always channel part of the funds into the police force at the same time keeping check that the police will never aquire the means to overthrow the government. What if the other nations still insist on building up armed forces? I suggest that each nation should enlist a small part of their forces to the United Nations. Hence the UN will act as an international police and making sure that no nations are allowed to invade other nations and to curb terrorist activities. The power of the UN should be shared equally amongst all members and the veto system should be abolished. I think the veto system is BS because it actually places the deciesive power in the hands of only 6 countries. How can peace be achieved if countries like the US which attacks other nations by its whims and fancies takes the reign of the UN? With a staggering national debt of $3.8 trillion, the US actually channels a large of its revenue into military research instead of paying up their outstanding dues. I believe that the US will start a campaign bent on world conquest soon... and the funny thing is, its creditors are the ones who are fuelling its millitary prowess.

   K... enuf said... The only way to ensure world peace is to do away with national armed forces and place military control under the UN. Having national armed forces is more or less the same as running a mafia gang and hence its practice should be eliminated. Mafia gangs are bad right? coz in a way, they can do whatever they like as long as they have enough firepower...

Faust....

Then to the moment could i say:

Linger you now, you are so fair!

Now records of my earthly day

No flights of aeons can imapair --

Foreknowledge comes, and fills me with such bliss,

I take my joy, my highest moment this.

A foolish word, bygone.

How so then, gone?

Gone, to sheer Nothing, past with null made one!

What matters creative endless toil,

When, at a snatch, oblivion ends the coil?

'It is bygone' -- How shall this riddle run?

As good as if things never had begun,

Yet circle back, existence to possess:

I'd rather have Eternal Emptiness.

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832

The importance of animals......

I think animals are very important... Besides providing us with food, skins and some other funny mish mash, animals are one of the important things keeping people from killing each other!!

Imagine if all the animals of the world went extinct... Where are we going to get our meat? Hence, some people will have to resort to cannibalism to fill our natural yearning for protein. Stronger nations will conquer weaker nations to capture them as slaves and meat... Later, the stronger nations will then wage wars against each other to fight for the rights to harvest human meat from the weaker nations, throwing the world into chaos and anarchy. The price of human meat will then soar skyhigh causing poor people to become serial killers, headhunters and illegal meat hunters. This will cause the rich people to live in perpetual fear... one day resulting in the establisment of a committee to exterminate all the Poor People. The middle class dudes will then be captured and thrown into a farm specially for cultivating human meat.

The world is so much better with animals around. For one, it provides jobs for all the potential serial killers in the world as butchers for slaughterhouses, thus preventing them from going around killing dudes. Besides that, it gives animal rights activists something to do. Otherwise, they would have joined the Women's rights groups, causing men and women to fight each other. Further more, animals give us a place to went our anger. Dont lie, Im sure most of you starve your dogs or kick your pets around when you have nothing to do (dont look at me, i dunt rear pets)! Finally, animals are ideal for those who do not wish to marry, reducing the number of divorce cases and domestic violence. Best of all it, it cuts down the number of births, hence reducing the number of dudes who will grow up to join the army and eventually end up killing each other !!

To all the animal rights activist out there who have nothing better to do: KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! Morally im with you all the way!!

Ps: I saw a couple of dead cats on the road during my driving test (not my fault!!). Great isnt it? If not for the cats someone might actually get killed !!

Random...

The WORLD does not owe me a livng,

The WORLD cares not if I'm dead,

I'll live the way i WANT to,

And DIE the way im meant.

LIFE is a meaning less river,

Which flows to a POINTless ocean,

Beyond the horizon of emptiness,

An Island of dreams awaits.

Time travel, possible?

I've been thinking about the possibilities of actually time travel actually existing in the future and i reallise that the chance are almost nil. I mean, you dont see any wierd hunky naked men poping out of a lighting bolt (you'll understand what i mean if you've watched terminator) throughout the entire course of history right? Unless they futuristic people have come out with some excellant way of slipping in and out of history without being detected.

On the other hand life will be really messy if time travel really existed. Suppose some futuristic dude goes back into time to get the winning lottery number which causes the lottery company to go bankrupt which  your dad works in to lose his job which causes him to break up with your mom, then will that cause you to disapear? Suppose the change in the past causes people's memories to be altered then people wont even reallise you are gone? That means if time travel is possible, people will be at risk of popping in and out of existance without anyone reallising it. Perhaps your past has just changed few seconds ago before and you dont reallise it has happened as your memory would have been updated to the most recent changes.

Who am I?

Who am I? Seriously... WHO AM I? I am Tai Yong Hoong ain't I? But supposed I was called Peter, Adrian, Tom, Dick, Harry... Would i still be the same me? If i was born to the Loh family or the Yeoh family or perhaps an Indian family... would i still be what I am today? Am i a consiousness trapped in a being called Tai Yong Hoong or am I inseperatable from the being that I am? Am i a creation of a devine being or am i a series of complex chemical reactions? Am I an individual or am I a product of society, what others mold me to be? Am i a mere brick in the wall, a drop in a sea? When i look into my photograph am i still the same person who had taken that photo years ago? If not, what happenned to that person? Did he suddenly just ceased to exist? Suppose I become the CEO of Microsoft one day... will I still be Tai Yong Hoong or will I be Bill Gates? Am I a result of my actions? my thoughts? my intellect? my grades? my status? my looks? Am i what i believe myself to be or am I what others perceive me to be? When i die, will i be just a memory? Will death just be a transit to a life of higher order or will i just cease to exist? ARRRGGHHHH!!!! somebody pls answer me before i go crazy!!!! But then again, if i go crazy will the former "me" be replaced by another "me" or will the former "me" just cease to exist leaving an empty shell bearing resemblence of "me"?

Shit! this is confusing.... why do i bother asking these questions anyway? Are they really that important? But then again what is important?